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| Choco ATTACK~! [Open] | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 1 2009, 05:57 PM (316 Views) | |
| Tada! | Jul 1 2009, 05:57 PM Post #1 |
Thoughts in Chaos
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It was simply inhumane...Inchocobaine? Err...Well whatever it was, it certainly would make PETA angry. Lady looked across the field at the Chocobo farm, the place infamous for renting out chocobos to people so that they could cross the Zolom swamp. Lady wasn't thinking about all the people who might need a ride to get across the swamp when she stepped forward to deal with this menace. One Chocobo. One Desire. Free her cousins from their captivity by that stupid looking yokel with a straw hat. She looked over to her left and pulled her broken katana out of its sheath as she glared fiercely at the farm. The fact that her cousins didn't seem to mind their captivity meant that they must have some kind of materia that made them docile...or something. The fiends. She dug her talons into the grass before letting out a battle cry, "Wark!" She charged the chocobo farm. The chocobos on the farm looked up in surprise at this pink menace that was charging their peaceful lives. Lady kicked part of their pen down and slipped her katana back into its sheath. "You're Free My Cousins!" She called to them. The chocobos just looked at her like she was crazy. "Wark, yes awe in the presence of your Savior!" She called to them, as she lifted her head high, "Bow in the presence of greatness!" She was getting a little ahead of herself now. None of the chocobos had escaped the pen though, quite the contrary. They just ignored Lady. "What's wrong guys? Why aren't you escaping...?" |
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| Bowwy | Jul 1 2009, 06:20 PM Post #2 |
MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“Whaddya mean I can’t order a pizza at three hundred feet?” A pair of furry eyes blinked in anger as the ears obtained the information that was sent to the brain, which then pissed the brain off. “That, is a load, of dogshit! Give me my damn pizza! Take an airship or something!” Once again, a scared response from the other side of the phone. “GAAAAAH YOU BASTARD!” Nex screamed, slamming his phone against the controls of his Mini Moogle Helicopter. He closed his phone, still filled with rage. All he wanted was a damn pizza, how hard could it be to deliver to air? Whatever, he’d live without pizza. His hands went up to the controls of his machine and he began piloting. Nex had been drinking a bit earlier, so he wasn’t the greatest driver in the world. He had been flying for about ten minutes when he got the hunger pangs for pizza. He started to fly down when he got the urge to eat like, fifteen Chocobo. Underneath him was the Zolom Swamp, so the ranch should’ve been close. As he predicted, the farm was nearby. He landed and crashed his ship at the same time, and then floated into the ranch, over the fence. He spent about five or so minutes searching for a decent looking one to eat, and then he saw a huge pink shape. It was heavenly, like a large piece of cotton candy. The Moogle licked his lips and then leapt forward, attaching itself to the thigh of the pink Chocobo and then began to bite rapidly. At the same time he also began to yell quite loudly. |
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| Tada! | Jul 1 2009, 10:25 PM Post #3 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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"Ouchh!" It was a very odd sight. A moogle crash landed and then flew over towards her leg and started nomming on it. "WARK, Don't touch the Merchandise!" Lady yelled into the Moogle's ear. She started pecking the moogle's head, and following that, bit the moogle back. "Lemme go!" she pecked the moogle again. With her talons on her other foot she gripped around the moogle's head and started to push the moogle away from her. The chocobo then started preening her feathers, flattening the feathers that she had ruffled when the moogle decided to start biting her. "Wark." She said as put her feathers back in order. "I know! you're here to prevent me from rescuing my cousins from Captivity aren't you?" the chocobo pulled out her broken katana and charged at the moogle. "Nothing shall get in my way!!! NOTTHIIIIING!!!" |
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| Bowwy | Jul 2 2009, 02:22 PM Post #4 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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As Nex’s teeth sank into the beautiful pink material, his tongue seemed to disagree. The Moogle was pretty sure what he was eating was cotton candy, but his tongue was saying whatever he had in his mouth was feathery. However, the Moogle was determined to eat this cotton candy. It may have been feathery, but it was cotton candy damn it! However, he was thrown a little off balance when the cotton candy started yelling at him and stabbing him in the head with some sharp object. This knocked the Moogle a bit off balance and then the cotton candy pulled him off of it with some other sharp object. “Ow,” The Moogle muttered to himself as he hit the dirt. He slowly rolled up, still a bit woozy from eating feathers. However, as his vision cleared, he saw a large pink object charging at him with a sword. The only logical solution to his confusion as that he was fighting mutant cotton candy which had the ability to wield a sword. It kept talking about fellow cousins or something, which made Nex wonder if there was more cotton candy around. He was still woozy, so when he ducked to avoid getting katana’d to death he tripped and fell to his left. “Erk….” He choked out, slowly floating up to his feet. “COTTON CANDY! I DECLARE YOU MY LUNCH! YOU WILL SHOW ME WHERE THE REST OF YOUR KIND IS SO THAT I MAY EAT ALL OF THEIR DELICIOUS YUMMY COTTON CANDY BODY. IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY…I…erh…” The Moogle pondered his decision for a moment, and then started again. “I WILL SOAK YOU IN WATER SO YOU DO NOT TASTE GOOD ANYMORE!” |
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| Tada! | Jul 2 2009, 03:46 PM Post #5 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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"I'm not Cotton Candy!!! I'm a chocobo! Wark!" Lady stood her ground ready for this Determined Moogle's assault. He seemed very set on eating her...even though she was not cotton candy. Quite the contrary, she was something with a very solid existence...and getting splashed with water was hardly a threat to her life... Though her feathers were a different matter. "Don't you dare splash water on my feathers. I'll bite your head off!" The chocobo declared in response to Nex's threat. A threat to meet a threat. It only made sense. She then held her katana blade out so that it was level with Nex. If she needed to she would slice him up!!! |
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| Bowwy | Jul 2 2009, 11:30 PM Post #6 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“What the fuck is a…oh…” Nex rubbed his eyes for a few moments, and then blinked. The pink blob slowly mutated into a bird like object with a beak and wings and whatnot. He squinted a bit, and then realized that it was no lie, he was looking at a giant pink Chocobo. His head cocked to the side a bit and he raised his right eyebrow as the large pink bird started yelling at him about her feathers. Nex had never seen a pink Chocobo before. He had ridden the old fashion ones, but he never ridden a pink one. His mind was made up. He was going to steal this Chocobo and use it as a pet. He’d take it to the Grocery store and have people stare in jealousy. He’d say, “Yes, my ride is pink, what’s yours? Oh wait, you don’t have one!” And then he would laugh. There was still a problem he had to deal with before he could fulfill his dreams of having his own personal pink transportation device. It had a sword out. The Moogle didn’t take the time to wonder why a large pink bird had a sword; he was focusing on the problem at hand. “Huh…” The Moogle muttered to himself, realizing at that moment how tall it actually was. At a mere two and a half feet, the large pink Chocobo was out of his weight class. He wasn’t sure if he could fight that thing. His furry chin quivered as he rubbed under his nose. “I’VE GOT IT!” He screamed, and then dived at the Chocobo, aiming for its back. If he landed, he’d start kicking the thing and demanding a ride. If he missed, then, he’d hit his face on the dirt. |
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| Tada! | Jul 2 2009, 11:51 PM Post #7 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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"Wark?" The chocobo examined this little moogle for a second, it was apparent that he was trying a surprise attack, but S race Class Chocobos like herself were trained to run on the dot. They were used to being ready to break into a sprint at any moment...his moving...she ran forward as soon as he started she charged him...unfortunately moogles can fly. So he kind of flew over her, and she kind of missed him. Lady however was never good at stopping her great speed. She dug her talons into the ground as she tried to stop herself from moving. She turned her head to look behind her at the moogle. "Mwelrsasd WArk!" She mumbled since there was a katana in her mouth. What she meant to say though was : 'Stay still!' Lady Charged the moogle again, tilting her head so that her katana blade was sliding against the ground...all the while all of the other chocobos coward in fear of the ridiculous situation. Quite suddenly a farmer walked out of his house in front of Lady and made her trip, causing her to fly and crash into the moogle. Her 270 lbs body wouldn't be any fun for Nex if she was the one on top. He'd be crushed. The farmer who also had fallen over scratched his head, "What in tarnations?" |
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| Bowwy | Jul 3 2009, 06:40 PM Post #8 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“HUZZAH!” Were the words escaping from Nex’s mouth as he got closer to the Chocobo mid-jump. However, the pink bird was quite fast and quickly dashed passed the Moogle. His face fell to the dirt, and he crumpled like an accordion and then fell on his back. “Urk…” He mumbled to himself as he brought himself up by his wings. He glanced over towards where the Chocobo had gone and saw that it was coming at him again; however, an incoming farmer took a gander from his house and sent the Chocobo on a nice trip. Nex really wasn’t sure what to do at that moment because there was a giant pink mass flying at him. He didn’t have time to dodge, so the entire pink bird landed on top of him and he felt his tiny little body being squished to the ground. “Aaa…ckk…” He choked. He wasn’t dying, but the pain he was experiencing was making him wish he was. “Uurrrkk…” He reached out from under the mass. If one were to be watching, it would appear that a single, lonely white wrist and hand were reaching up for help, but then it fell to the ground, still wriggling a little bit. “Help…meee…..” He would not be receiving any help from the farmer, who was too busy wondering where the hell he had gotten a pink Chocobo. “Urkk…okay…what did Lini tell me to do whenever heavy things fell on me?” Two days earlier… “KUPO!” Nex shouted from under the heavy car. “HOW DO I GET OUT?!” Lini stood above him, working on lifting the car up. “Well…Kupo..what do we use Cock Push ups for?” “You’re a genius!” Present “Exactly!” The Moogle focused for a moment. He was being crushed, the pain was dampening his spirits, but after a moment, his intense thinking invoked a response. A moment later, there was another, and then another. Finally, after several tries, he gave it his all, and then the Moogle was lifted up . He quickly crawled out from under the bird and let out a long sigh. “I’M ALIVE!” |
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| Tada! | Jul 4 2009, 12:52 AM Post #9 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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The Chocobo felt something push her up into the air, and watched as the moogle crawled out from under her. "Wark..." That must have been one serious boner. The farmer obviously was scared of such a thing as well, and immediately started running towards his house while covering his bum hole. "Er...wtf..." Was all Lady had to say. Even in her Arrogance...A moogle with a dick strong enough to lift her up into the air...It most certainly was a WTF moment. How could a Moogle even do something like that? It was only two feet tall! She was an Amazing Seven! She weighed a slim 270 and was more fit physically than most of the chocobos in this place. She slipped her katana back into its sheath... "Do you take dick steroids...or something? Because...thats just ridiculous." |
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| Bowwy | Jul 4 2009, 10:29 PM Post #10 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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Nex stood proudly, like a superhero. He hadn’t saved anybody but himself, but it still felt damn good. The Chocobo was apparently surprised by the Moogle’s act of justice, but it obvious that she’d never seen a Moogle’s member before. She even put her sword away, and then asked a very odd question. Nex had never heard anyone ask that question before in his life, and he hoped that no one would ever ask him that question again. The Chocobo asked him if he took Dick Steroids. Nex shuddered a bit as the words escaped her beak, and then he responded after a moment. “No, all Moogles are blessed with the incredible might of a third leg! It’s nowhere near ridiculous, it’s just a fact of life, that all of us furry lovable creatures are blessed with members that can expand to more than twice our height and length! My friend actually has gotten his width to around a foot before, but that was a really crazy night. However,” The Moogle stopped for a moment. “I’m still hungry and I need to eat a Chocobo. If you resist, I will eat you,” |
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| Tada! | Jul 6 2009, 12:52 PM Post #11 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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"But that totally defeats the purpose! If I stand still you're gonna try and eat me anyways! Maybe I should eat you!" The chocobo argued, she walked over and started pecking at him, then she but his head, too bad birds didn't have any teeth. Well good thing for Nex, but too bad for Lady. "How do you like that!!!" she yelled to him. |
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| Bowwy | Jul 6 2009, 05:29 PM Post #12 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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The Chocobo was using logic against him, which TOTALLY wasn’t fair. He stood proudly, pointing at the Chocobo and yelled, “LOGIC IS THE CANCER THAT IS KILLING THE WORLD CHOCOBO! FORGET ALL OF THE THINGS YOU KNOW BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY!” He was going to go one when she started pecking him on the head. She got in six or seven of them before Nex fell down and then scrambled away and up to his feet. After a quick dusting off his Tuxedo and a readjusting of the neck, he was ready. He reached for his staff and then yelled, “A TRUE HUNGER DOES NOT FALTER DUE TO PECKS!” And then he leapt forward, swinging his staff at the Chocobo’s side. “I SHALL BURN YOUR MEATS AND EAT YOU LIKE SUNDAY DINNER!” |
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| Tada! | Jul 8 2009, 08:16 PM Post #13 |
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Thoughts in Chaos
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"Ouch, Oh yeah? Try mine!" She pulled out her Sword and started Chopping at the Moogle. "WARK!!" The chocobo warked in defiance as she rebuttled the moogle hitting her with his staff with her sword. Broken as it was. She lunged for the Moogle's belly, wondering how much he would like having his guts slit and pouring onto the ground. Not very much she imagined. She then attacked for his head, and retreated back, putting her sword away. "I"LL BURN YOUR FACE AND SERVE YOU ROASTED TO A BUNCH OF CHILDREN STARVING IN NIBELHEIM!!!" She argued to Nex. The Starving children would probably serve a good cause. |
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| Bowwy | Jul 8 2009, 10:44 PM Post #14 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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Nex’s staff landed squarely on the Chocobo’s side, but it wasn’t planning on giving up the fight yet. It went down at his stomach. The Moogle leaned back, but the sword was longer than he could pull back so it sliced into his skin a little, leaving a moderately gory wound there. “Ow,” The Moogle said. The Chocobo came back with a slash to his head, but with a quick duck he avoided decapitation. “WAIT!” He shouted, floating back and putting his weapon away. “WAIT!” he yelled again, letting his breath go back to normal. “Huh…phew….urk…..owwe…” He muttered to himself. “WE CAN COME TO A COMPROMISE, CHOCOBO!” The Moogle took a valiant pose. “I SUGGEST…I ONLY EAT A LITTLE BIT OF YOU! IT SEEMS FAIR. JUST…LIKE…CUT OFF PART OF YOUR WING AND WE’LL CALL IT EVEN, OKAY? AND IF YOU MUST, I CAN CUT OFF APART OF MYSELF OR SOMETHING FOR YOU TO EAT,” |
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| Bowwy | Jul 9 2009, 08:22 PM Post #15 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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(Tada gave me permission to end this) Nex thought for a moment, and then decided that he didn’t want to compromise. “PSYCHE!” He yelled, using his superior speed against the Chocobo to spin and smash the head of his staff directly onto the head of his upcoming meal. The pink bird fell to the ground, unconscious, so Nex stumbled forward and then charged a Thunder. He slammed it into the stomach of the bird, causing a large part of it’s inner muscles to be blasted to pieces. Blood splattered all over Nex as he reached in, pulling out glob after glob of muscle and blood and shoving them into his mouth. The Chocobo was clearly dead at this point, so Nex decided he’d keep scraping. When he found the heart, he shoved that into his mouth. After awhile of eating the inside, he began to swallow the outside, piece by piece, and soon the entire Chocobo was gone, save for the blood that was splattered over the ground and Nex. “Hee hee…I’m pretty satisfied now…oh well, time to go,” He said, and then began to floating towards his Machine. |
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